


Damsel

by zzeacat



Series: Wade takes care of Peter [1]
Category: Deadpool (Movieverse), Deadpool - All Media Types, Spider-Man (Video Game 2018), Spider-Man - All Media Types, The Amazing Spider-Man (Movies - Webb)
Genre: Awkward Flirting, Disney References, Flirting, Fluff, Funny, Human Disaster Peter Parker, Humor, Hurt/Comfort, Identity Porn, Identity Reveal, Pizza
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2020-10-14
Updated: 2020-10-15
Packaged: 2021-03-08 21:02:40
Rating: Not Rated
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 3
Words: 5,217
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/27003199
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/zzeacat/pseuds/zzeacat
Summary: Wade sees a hot af nerd at his favourite pizza place, and what is better he seems to be flirting back. Aka a short fic with peter having bruises, Wade trying to be a knight in shining armour, Peter having the guts to flirt back and my attempt at comedy.
Relationships: Peter Parker & Wade Wilson, Peter Parker/Wade Wilson
Series: Wade takes care of Peter [1]
Series URL: https://archiveofourown.org/series/1977601
Comments: 43
Kudos: 466





	1. Chapter 1

**Author's Note:**

> Hello lovely people. This was just a little fun for me, I really enjoy writing Wade and Peters banter. I hope it makes you laugh may do a part two.

Wade went to this pizza place every Thursday, like every Thursday. Fat Rob (the owner lovingly nicked named by Wade) not only new Wade’s order but also had the order ready at 7:30pm every Thursday without Wade even ordering it anymore. So, it was safe to say Wade knew this person had never been here at this time on a Thursday before. This ‘hot piece of ass’ – as White calls him and Wade had to agree – by the looks of it had never been here before. He was looking at the old 80’s pizzeria style menu board with such a look of concentration you would think he was making a life or death decision.  
“The margherita is amazing, true cheesy heaven I would recommend.”  
Wade confidently stated taking a small step closer to the small brunette. The young and gorgeous man turned to face Wade, tilting his head up to make eye contact with the taller man. It was at this moment Wade remembered he was mask-less, only in an over-sized hoodie, his Freddie Kruger face in full view. Wade expected the young man to scream or at least flinch, but he didn’t. There wasn’t even a micro reaction on the man’s face indicating any kind of discomfort. Instead he just pushed up his large brown glasses with an adorable smile. Wade also angerly noticed he had a cut lip and a bruise near the bottom of his eye socket, the poor kid had clearly been punched in the face.  
“Thanks, I was thinking that, but I usually eat like 3 pizzas and I’m not sure what else to get. Like do I want the lot? Or should I get one of their more unique flavours? Because a Mexican pizza does sound good.”  
“Wow three pizzas, you could keep up with me. Where does it all go? Mine goes to my amazing muscles and big….” Wade started, looking the scrawny man up and down now noticing his ass was not the only thing that was fine. And again, Wade was blessed by this young man’s smile before he even finished his joke, both of them laughing.  
“Ahh I can admit your muscles clearly out matches my own,” he said shrugging and looking down at his feet still smiling.  
“Yeah, but hey you have the whole sexy nerd thing going for you, it is very in right now,” Wade smirked bending down slightly to try and see the young man’s face again. The sexy nerd boy rubbed his hand on the back of his neck smiling as his raised is eyes to meet Wades, blushing adorably.  
“I am going to order my pizza now so… yeah,” he stuttered pointing at the counter. Wade stood a safe distance and overheard the order and eagerly listened as Fat Rob asked for the name for the order. No, it isn’t creepy it’s romantic shut up.  
“Sooo Peter,” Wade said swaying forward slightly, into Peter’s personal space.  
“Ah… yeah sorry… yeah … Peter… um. Parker… Peter Parker.”  
“OMG. Alliteration buddies this is great! Wade Wilson.”  
Peter smiled and shook Wade’s hand, again surprising Wade by not reacting to touching Wade’s skin.  
“So … who punched you in the face…? Do I need to beat up some asshole boyfriend?” Wade grumbled. Peter reached up to touch the bruise under his eye.  
“Is that your subtle way to ask me if I date men?”  
“Is this your not at all subtle way to distract me from my question?”  
“Yes.”  
“Ok, but are you ok Peter? I don’t go prying into people’s life a lot, but you seem like a good man, you don’t look at me funny and you have good taste in pizza so I just gotta ask.”  
“I like the whole night in shining armour routine, really I do, big turn on, but trust me I am fine. I am a damsel, I am in distress, but I can handle it.”  
“Was that a Hercules reference?”  
“Yup,” Peter said loudly popping the P.  
Ok now Wade definitely had to get this guy’s number. He just admitted that Wade’s behaviour was a turn on and made a Disney reference god this man was perfect. But before Wade could ask, Fat Rob interrupted calling Peter and Wades orders. Peter grabbed his three-pizza boxes and started to head out.  
“Wait baby boy, wanna eat Pizza together? There is a great park bench right around the corner, no bird shit or anything.”  
“Baby boy?”  
“Yeah, do you not like it?” Wade asked. Was it too early for nick names? Because Wade had already mentally given Peter twenty.  
“No, I love it Red,” Peter laughed, blushing.  
“Come on Baby boy. Pizza, you, me at the park. You have already been punched in the face this week so what are you afraid of? Besides you said you can handle yourself…Don’t worry I don’t bite.”  
“Pity,” at this Peter sped up, heading towards the park. Wade had temporally stopped functioning. When Wade exe had rebooted, he caught up to Peter who was smirking merrily. They reached the aforementioned bench and Wade sat to eat his pizza. Peter perched rather than sat, feet on the seat of the bench and glorious bubble butt (that Wade had definitely been staring at when walking behind Peter), on the back rest.  
“So, what is a cute little nerd like you doing getting punched in the face, then eating greasy food with a freaky stranger?”  
“Maybe I like to live my life with a little danger?” Peter said seemingly questioning himself and Wade. “Or it is just that I am a really good judge of character and I know that you are a good man Wade. Or I just don’t care because it isn’t every day, or ever, that a man as attractive as you flirts with me.”  
Wade almost choked on his Pizza.  
“Oh, honey you need your prescription checked, I am not a hot man, a hot mess maybe.”  
“Wade don’t, I have enough self-esteem issues for the both of us, you look like an extra buff Ryan Reynolds, ok, one with scars but you tell me if you would still think he is hot with scars.”  
Wade had nothing to say to this. He would most defiantly still bone Ryan Reynolds if he was scared.  
“My real question Wade is, what are you doing asking small nerdy boys with a black eye to eat pizza?” Peter looked down at Wade defiantly.  
“Well one, glasses are totally sexy and no one can change my mind. Two you seem really fucking nice and I have a lot of rage so would love to beat up whoever punched you in the face. And three you made a Disney joke and I am a massive geek and could cum from listening to a hot nerd rant about a nerdy interest.”  
Peter swallowed heavily, “Well Mr Wilson, my glasses are not just for show, I could rant for hours about how the Jedi order was corrupt and caused Anakin’s downfall, or how Spock was definitely gay. But I tend to save the orgasmic nerdy rants for a second date.”  
“I will hold you to that Peter.”  
“Good I like being held to things.”  
Again, this small nerd boy had managed to short circuit Wade’s brain. And looked a little too smug doing it. How could this boy say shit like that but also be so obviously shy? He was behaving as if he knew Wade. Honestly this conversation was flowing too easily, Peter was keeping up with Wade’s antics too well.  
“Well Wade, I have eaten two and a half of my pizzas and I’m going to take the last half home to have cold for breakfast tomorrow, because cold pizza is my religion.”  
Peter abruptly stood up and begun walking away.  
“See ya around DP,” he said waving a hand over his shoulder.  
As Wade watched Peter, or more accurately Peter’s butt disappear into the night, his mind filled with rapid fire thoughts. No not that kind you freaks. Well actually yes, that kind but also not. Wade was 98% sure he never told Peter he was Deadpool, yet Peter had just called him DP, and earlier he called him Red.  
And why in the world did Peter’s voice and ass seem so familiar to Wade?


	2. Princess

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Another chapeter of butt jokes with a little hurt comfort about peters dead family.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Thanks sooo much to those of you who commented on the last chaper it is the only reason i wrote more.

Wade saw Spider-Man a mere two days later, perched on the ledge of a rooftop in classic brooding superhero fashion.  
“Yo! How is it hanging my buggy friend?”  
“How many times do I have to say this Deadpool? Spiders are Arachnids.”  
“Right yup, I know that I just get all hot and bothered when you correct me Spidey.”  
“You’re hot and bothered because you wear all leather in the middle of summer.”  
“Ha-ha, you are not entirely wrong. I sweat like a pig in this thing, it adds to my enticing male aroma.” Wade took this moment to sit down next to Spider-Man, legs dangling off the roof kicking them about like a child.  
“So how have you been?”  
“Good actually, I tried that pizza place you recommended the other day, it was great, and still just as good cold the next day.”  
Peter knew he was laying the hints on thick for Wade, but he also knew Wade was surprisingly thick, especially when talking to him.  
“Yeah, that’s great Spidey, I actually met this hot nerd guy there the other night, his butt might rival your own.”  
“Wow that’s high praise coming from you.”  
“Yeah, can’t give him full stars yet as jeans do not do as many wonders for the butt as spandex, but it was glorious.”  
Peter chuckled to himself standing up for a stretch giving Wade an all too distracting view of his muscles flexing.  
“I guess you will have to hope he has a penchant for yoga pants or something.”  
“God Spidey don’t even suggest it I might faint if I saw him in just actually fitting skinny jeans.”  
“Wait Deadpool, you actually seem to like this dude.”  
Spidey sat back down at this, moving his knees up to his chin.  
Wade shrugged, maybe it was not a good idea to tell Spidey about this, might spoil his chances with the hero, but Wade new that was never going to happen. Peter seemed to actually like him, for some crazy reason.  
“I do Spidey, not only is he a hot piece of ass, but he seems like a nice guy. He has some problems, I think. He had bruises that worry me. And he was waaay too trusting talking to me so quick, and that could get him into trouble. But he was funny.”  
“This is good Wade, maybe he just needs someone to care about him? And I hope it will be good for you to have someone to care about you. I mean you know I do, but I think you and I both know you will never take my caring seriously as long as I am the figure of your heroic fantasies.”  
This was true, Peter hated to admit it, but he needed someone to care, not for Spider-Man but for Peter. I was nice the other night being seen as Peter; he had always thought Wade was only drawn to him because he was his hero. But Wade liked Peter. And Peter liked Wade. So why not encourage it?  
“Thanks Spidey, I just hope I can be good for him.”  
“Trust me Deadpool I know you, you will be.”  
And then Spider-man was gone, elegantly leaping off the roof and swinging away.  
\---------  
Wade was worried he wouldn’t find Peter again, but the gods worked in his favour as he finally spotted Peter in the supermarket of all places. Peter was hunched over reading labels on the ice-cream. He was wearing skinny jeans, tight black skinny jeans, it was a blessing from heaven. And what was better he was singing. Just quietly to himself whispering along to the lyrics of what ever was playing through his headphones. As Wade got closer, he recognised the song as Peter flawlessly whisper rapped the lyrics.  
“Brother wanna thank you mother for a butt like that.”  
“Yes, you should.”  
Wade whispered right into Peter’s ear now standing right behind him. Peter flinched hard and almost dropped the Ben and Jerry’s he was holding. Luckily Wade caught it now enveloping Peters frame in his arms. As soon as the ice-cream was safe Wade stood back.  
“Sorry Peter didn’t mean to frighten you so bad.”  
Wade felt a little guilty, Peter was just so cute singing to salt-n-pepa.  
Peter also felt guilty. He hadn’t meant to flinch so hard, but no one can usually sneak up on him. The only people who could are those that his Spidey sense thinks are safe, so May and Wade. Now that Wade knows Peter, he could be sneaked up on for the first time since getting powers as Peter.  
“Ha-ha it’s alright Wade, I just had my music really loud, didn’t hear you.”  
“Well I just agreed with you is all.”  
“Agreed with what?”  
“You should totally thank your mother for a butt like that.”  
“Ha-ha, when I get to heaven, I will let her know.”  
Peter chuckled at this, before abruptly stopping at Wades black face.  
“Oh god… sorry I didn’t mean to ruin the mood or anything, she died when I was a kid, I just use humour to cope you know…. Not that I need help coping or anything… please say something so I will shut up.” Peter waved his arms frantically as he desperately tried to salvage the conversation. And Wade couldn’t help but smile at his pathetic antics.  
“No problem Baby boy, using humour to cope could be my slogan.”  
Wade bent down and picked up Peter’s shopping basket. Peter attempted to protest, and his hands reached out to stop him. Wade noticed Peters knuckles where red and scabbed. He immediately snatched Peter’s hand up and brought it closer to his face.  
“Come on Baby boy, you told me everything was fine. I see your face has healed surprisingly fast but now your beautiful hands are all marked up. These nimble little dudes should be as soft as a fancy lady in an old-timey book would have, not all scabby. A kid like you should only be using these babies to write down nerdy things and turn book pages.”  
Peter snatched his hand back from Wade relinquishing his basket to him.  
“It’s alright Wade, knuckle wounds just take longer to heal because you bend your fingers all the time. Besides there are other things they do, if they heal up soon you might find out what.”  
Wade was catching on now; Peter was totally using his sexy words to distract Wade from bigger questions. It was totally working. Wade now looked into Peter’s shopping basket.  
“Ok, I love the whole mysterious thing, but this is too far. All you have in here is instant noodles and ice-cream! I love junk food, but you are never going to get big and strong if you eat like this, I know your mum died when you were young but did your dad never teach you to eat properly?!”  
Wade could handle Peter getting into fights, but food was important, very important.  
“Actually, my dad died when I was young too… I was raised by my aunt and uncle.”  
Wade lowed his flailing hand in defeat.  
“Ok your aunt or you uncle, what do they say about you still eating like a depressed high school student? You have a baby face, but you are clearly older than that.”  
“They’re dead too… Ben died when I was a teen. May died when that virus outbreak happened. I eat like this because the funeral cost and house mortgage after her death is killing me.”  
Shit this poor fucking kid, Wade thought. Why the fuck would funeral home milk this poor kid of everything after he lost everything that really mattered?  
“I… god I am sorry I didn’t mean to dump my whole life story on you Wade, you have your own problems, but can you just not judge my sad shopping.”  
“I… Baby boy I am so sorry. I didn’t mean to judge, I just like you is all, want you to eat better. Can I get your shopping? Some nice food?”  
Peter began to walk towards the cash register angrily.  
“No Wade you are not some sugar Daddy that I am going to milk for money. I like you too. I think you deserve more respect than that, and I don’t want your pity.”  
“Ok no pity but can I buy you dinner? It isn’t a sugar Daddy if it’s a genuine date.”  
Peter paused at this. He turned to face Wade.  
“I have some time, there is a burrito stand on my way home. You could walk me there?”  
“Sounds like heaven.”  
Wade and Peter cashed out of the shopping centre and walked for a few minutes in comfortable silence.  
“Wait a minute, I got totally distracted by your beautiful butt and singing, I forgot to ask. You called me DP last time we talked.”  
“Yeah, it isn’t like it’s a secret that Wade Wilson is Deadpool.”  
Peter shrugged, Wade supposed he was right, but then why was Peter hanging out with a known mercenary?  
“God this isn’t some kink is it? Like wanting to sleep with a mercenary for the thrill of it. Because as much as I am not one to kink shame, boning known killers is not something I recommend.”  
“No Wade, I don’t want to bone you because you’re a mercenary. Besides I had heard you had stopped that, switched to saving people.”  
“Yeah I have. Training with the hottest hero in red and blue.”  
“Captain America?”  
“What no, Spider-Man duh.”  
“Oh, sorry more of a muscle man myself, thought I made that clear.”  
“Wait you said, ‘I do not want to bone you because you are a mercenary’ does that mean you want to bone me?”  
“Look there it is.”  
Peter stopped the conversation, pointing out the burrito stand on the sidewalk. He walked up and ordered 3 burritos. Then asked Wade how many he wanted. Jesus this man was amazing, Wade thought.  
“So, let me get this straight. Peter, you are totally fine with me being Deadpool, but it also had nothing to do with why you spoke to me in the first place.”  
“As long as you are working to be a better man Wade, I really don’t care about your past.”  
“Spidey is teaching me well; he is a great teacher and has an amazing behind.”  
Peter stopped mid bight of his burrito and Wade chuckled deeply.  
“Don’t be getting jealous now Peter, Spidey wears spandex. It’s hard not to admire, but I still think your ass is fine.”  
Good, Peter thought. The skinny jeans he started to wear especially, were working.  
“Good, I don’t want my butt to be outshined. I think she is getting used to your compliments and might feel insecure if she was replaced.”  
“Did you just call your butt a she? Please tell me I can worship it and call it princess in bed then?”  
“Only if you treat her like royalty.”  
Wade again shut down, it was like Peter had Wades on switch but also his brains off switch.  
“Anyway, Wade I have to get home before my ice-cream is so melted that it will re-freeze funny.”  
Peter leaned over the frozen Wade and slipped something into the centre pocket of Wade’s hoodie and left. Something about the way Peters hair smelt was familiar to Wade. What ever it was Wade loved it.  
………………….

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I know still not a resolution but I am workong on more so comment and you will get more ;)


	3. disassater

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> SOO here is the final chapter of this fic enjoy some identity reveal and Peter parker being a disaster

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Thanks soo much to those who comment because of you I had the motivation to finish this.

The next time Wade saw Peter he was in costume, full Deadpool gear after a long night of cutting down some gross people traffickers. He was cutting through an abandoned skate park to finally get home. He distantly heard the click and clank of wheels against concrete. As he approached the noise, he saw the unmistakable figure of Peter skating on a skateboard doing some complex looking tricks on a rail. Wade sat down on a concrete block watching and admiring Peter. 

He looked … free, at ease, his muscles were not hunched over or tensed, as they usually were. He was surprisingly graceful, for a skinny nerdy boy he seemed quite coordinated. After Peter finished doing a cool kickflip trick Wade clapped and whistled. Peter had been so in his head he had no idea Wade was there. When he heard the sudden clapping, he freaked and fell right off his board, smacking his face right into the concrete.  
“Oh shit! Petey are you ok!”  
Wade jumped up, running towards Peter.  
“I’m ok,” Peter mumbled, mouth rapidly filling with blood from biting his tongue. Fucking great, he wiped out in front of Wade like an idiot, great job Parker.  
“Jesus Baby boy I am so sorry! I gotta stop startling you so bad. Your chin is all scratched up. You looked cool, the skating is very hot millennial.”  
Wade's gloved hand tilted his head to look up at him. Peter noticed Wade was in full costume masked eyes managing to convey concern. Peter tried to smile at Wade but when he did blood just fell from his mouth. This was a fucking disaster.  
“Fuck Peter did you bite your tongue!”  
“Yeah, glad you are in all red.” Peter tried to joke to cover his embarrassment, but his mouth really did hurt.  
“I was just on my way home, you could come with me and I can patch up your chin. Shit, I feel so bad, I don’t usually make people I like bleed. Just the ones I don’t like.”  
“Not your fault, I seem to be quite proficient at injuring myself.”  
“Let me help anyway, I can’t just leave you bleeding alone. What where you are doing skating alone in this abandoned place anyway? If you’d been hurt, you would’ve been alone!”  
Peter opened his mouth to answer, blood spilling out when Wade interrupted.  
“Don’t answer that. Much as I love to hear you talk, I think we should deal with your injuries first. Can you stand?”  
Peter closed his mouth and nodded. He stood up and immediately swayed. He hit his chin pretty bad but really, he had been injured a lot worse. Wade, without so much as a grunt, reached out and picked up Peter like a couple of grapes. Peter knew he most definitely could stand but was not going to say anything because being cradled in Wade’s biceps was too perfect to stop.  
“God, Peter Parker you are a disaster you know that. I thought I was a disaster, but you, you are a disaster, a loveable one but still a disaster.”  
Peter chuckled and turned his head into Wade’s firm chest.  
When they reached Wade’s apartment Peter was sat down on the couch. Peter had sat on this couch a few times before, as Spider-Man. It was nice to be brought over to Wade’s place as Peter. Admittedly it was still to get help patching up injuries, but it was progress none the less.  
“Alright Peter, I am going to clean up your chin with some disinfectant, and look I have my little pony band-aids, so your chin is going to be the cutest around after I am done.”  
Peter scooted forward on the couch, knees touching Wades as he sat on the coffee table across from him. Peter involuntarily gulped the blood in his mouth as he winced from the sting of the disinfectant.  
“Sorry Petey Pie but look all better now.”  
Wade gentry placed the pink pony band-aid on Peter’s chin and smiled still holding Peter’s chin gently in his fingers. Peter looked up at Wade and made direct eye contact, Wade half expected Peter to be able to see through the mask. Peter’s eyes were magnificent, they were this dark hazelnut brown, warm and inviting. Peter reached out and stroked Wade’s cheek and Wade leaned into it. Peter reached down to the bottom of Wade’s mask. Wade did not need to be told twice. He took the mask off in one quick motion somehow not self-conscious with Peter. Wade’s eyes desperately reconnected with Peters. Peter’s thumb stroked under Wade's eyes and he smiled warmly. Before Wade could comprehend what was happening Peter leaned in for a chase kiss. It was rushed and Peter’s mouth tasted like blood, but it was still amazing. Peter’s lips were soft and gentle as if Wade was the injured one.  
“Sorry I… Sorry.”  
Peter stuttered out looking down. Wade quickly pulled Peter’s face back up and kissed him again this time with just a little more force.  
“Don’t be sorry Baby boy.”  
Peter smiled gently squeezing Wade’s biceps with surprising strength.  
“Thank you Wade, I didn’t know whether you wanted that when didn’t call or text after the other night.”  
“Huh?”  
Wade was confused now, Peter expected him to call? Had he given him his number?  
“I left my number in your pocket the last time we spoke.”  
Wade hurriedly got up from the couch and over to his hoodie from the other night. Sure enough on a napkin from the burrito place was Peter’s number and a poorly drawn crown next to it.  
“Oh my god Peter I am so sorry, I went out right after you left. I got a tip on some baddies whereabouts and left to go take them down. I was on my way back from it when I saw you skating.”  
Peter’s shoulders relaxed and he leaned back onto the couch smiling.  
“Thank god, I thought the number was too forward. That maybe you just liked the thrill of casual flirting, I don’t date much so I have no clue if I am doing this right.”  
“You’re doing amazing, honestly colour me thoroughly seduced and committed.”  
Wade sat down on the couch next to Peter and shoved is shoulder gently into Peter’s side.  
“I don’t date much anymore either, my last girlfriend died rather suddenly so trust me I am not going to just fuck and chuck if that’s what you’re worried about. A friend of mine said maybe we could take care of each other. I think he was right. He usually is. I feel like I know you, Peter.”  
“Mm, that’s good to hear Wade. I guess we are dead girlfriend buddies too. My last girlfriend was killed by my best friend, I guess I just get scared people will leave me like everyone else has.”  
“That’s rough, but I have no intention of leaving you Peter, and I can’t die so I won’t leave you that way either.”  
Peter let out a big breath and turned to face Wade.  
“Want to order Chinese and watch Star Wars?”  
Wade smile.  
“Only if you talk through the whole movie, you promised me orgasmic nerdy rants.”  
“With me, that is a given Wade.”  
Deadpool remembers the first time he touched Spider-Man’s butt was an accident, ok no it was not but it was more or less consensual given the situation. Spidey and Deadpool and again managed to get themselves in a precarious situation. Spidey had climbed into a vent only just wide enough for his narrow frame and gotten slightly … stuck.  
“Hold still Spidey babe, I got to take a picture of this!”  
“Deadpool if you take a picture of my butt stuck in this vent right now, I will break all the bones in your hand whilst naming them.”  
“Oh, please do I love the nerdy talk.”  
“Just shut up DP and help me! You are going to have to push me I am almost out then I can open the door from the other side.”  
Deadpool stopped fangirling, switching to serious mission mode.  
“Sure thing Spidey, how do you want to do this? Don’t want to hurt you.”  
“Deadpool just… grab my butt and give me a little shove.”  
“Did you just say, ‘grab my butt’?”  
“Yes, just shut up and do it!”  
“Yes Sir!”  
Deadpool saluted to Spider-Man’s butt and gave it a shove. Spidey immediately fell through to the other side of the door and was free. Deadpool stood staring at his hands. He had just had the honour of touching the booty he had been admiring for so long. He was never going to wash his gloves again. When Spider-Man had finally opened the door from the other side Deadpool was still standing there looking at his hands.  
“DP! We gotta go!”  
“I touched the butt,” Deadpool squeaked. If he could see Spider-Man’s eyes there would have been an eye roll.  
“Yes Deadpool, now is not the time for Disney references. Let’s go!”  
This was certainly not how Wade was expecting to touch Spider-Man’s butt for the second time, but he was most definitely not mad about it. He and Peter had eaten an obscene amount of fried rice and watched 2 out of the 3 glorious prequels before Peter regretfully said he had to be going home.  
“Sorry Wade, just text me, like a lot.”  
He leaned in for a quick kiss.  
“I hade very skilled thumbs don’t you worry.”  
Wade winked and leaned in for another kiss, then another. Then Peter’s arms were around his neck and it was a full make out. Wade was inhaling that familiar smell of Peter’s hair whilst he nipped at Peter’s neck. Peter rubbed his hands down Wade’s pecks and Wade took this as a sign that it is ok for a little grope. As he went in for another kiss, he reached down to grab two handfuls of that beautiful butt and all the dots connected. Wade stopped mid-kiss. Peter huffed. Wade’s hands were still on Peter’s butt.  
“What Wade?”  
Wade squeezed Peter’s butt gently and Peter let out an amused but confused chuckle.  
“I knew I recognised this BUTT!”  
Wade through up his hand and rubbed them over his face.  
“It all makes sense now! Why you’re not afraid of me! Why your voice, your attitude, your shampoo all seemed to familiar, then I touched your butt and bam! You can’t fool me! Those skinny jeans may hide some of that butt’s glory, but I know it. Spidey!”  
“Are you seriously telling me that you just recognised me by my butt?”  
“Yes! So, you are not going to deny it? Peter Parker the disaster nerd is Spider-Man.”  
Peter shrugged and undid the first few buttons of his shirt revealing the spiderman costume underneath.  
“God, why is the fact that you are wearing more clothes under your clothes so hot? No wait don’t distract me, why didn’t you tell me!”  
Peter shrugged.  
“Don’t shrug me shrugger, use your words you always have plenty of them.”  
“I don’t know, because I liked it. Peter Parker the dumb nerd who only talks to fast food servers and professors was getting hit on by the beefcake Wade Wilson. This would be the first time in a long time that someone was interested in all of me. Spider-Man and the disaster Peter Parker.”  
Wade huffed, he took one big step towards Peter and kissed him yet again.  
“I can show you exactly what I mean when I say I LOVE all of you.”

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I hope you guys like it! If you guys want me to do more with these too some one shots mabye or an epilouge I might. EDIT: I have now written another chapter that follows directly from this. It is published as a second work. Please go read that and enjoy!

**Author's Note:**

> So what did you think? if you guys like it? I know leaving you on a cliff hanger sorry but Seriously would take like one person to comment to make me write more. It is so fun for me to attempt to be funny. Comments are life.


End file.
